Simple and Significant
The Secret Sauce of Empathy
Feelings and Needs
Practicing listening for these two things is paramount to learning to communicate with compassion and to resolving conflict, internal or interpersonal.
Nonviolent Communication is a simple 4 step process which starts with making an observation then moving to the feelings about what you saw or heard and then the Universal human needs related to that feeling, then you sail right through to a request. Remember to make the request specific and doable.
What’s not talked about?
Your Intention and Your Attention.
These two can make the difference to how well you will achieve connection and communicate using nonviolent compassionate communication.
Let’s talk about your intention first.
Let’s imagine someone is asking you to do a task- for ease let’s say its putting the rubbish in the bin outside for collection. Many people reading this would have had this experience before.
You say “Would you put out the bins”. Pretty awesome right? Pretty clear?
When you say it, it sounds simple. When you receive it, how does it sound?
It might sound like a demand. And this depends somewhat on what the persons intention was when they asked to have the bin taken out. Their intention may come from being stressed and seeing their partner relaxing or generally not doing enough to contribute. That energy will be relayed in the request.
Now let’s look at attention.
Your attention in the moment is important especially when listening, wanting to connect or communicate or wanting to remember that moment or information later. If you are busy and cannot listen, I would suggest acknowledging this and asking if there is another time to talk. If you find your attention is not in the present moment and totally attentive to the other person it will be apparent to the other person. So please stop, there is no such thing as half-attentive. If you try it, you and the other person will be disappointed.
The whole art of communication is to have the message sent be the same as message received.
Know how to dissolve the fights
You don’t have to learn the art of resolving conflict you just need to know how to empathise with yourself and others. This is the key to successfully communicating and not reaching overwhelm. If overwhelm happens to creep up on you, apply the empathy tool kit and you will find your fights inside and outside dissolve.
You wouldn’t think you could join a yoga class and master the one-handed tree pose on your first visit. Practicing easier poses with like-minded people in a safe environment would be a great start though.
I invite you to learn and practice the skills of empathy on a free call Wednesday March 28th @ 7:45am til 8:45am Lots of Q&A time.
If you prefer a laser coaching session with me I offer these at $49 and they are a faced paced 20 minutes. We zero in on the one thing that bugs you right now.
Here’s how to get started click Lets Get Started and you are on your way!
What a recent client said
“I was stubbornly hanging on to my old pattern of wanting to be right and when my partner was so angry I got angry too, we clashed so often lately. I had no idea what to do. I love him but didn’t feel that lately. Now I can see how I come across when I’m in work mode and how stressed he is about money too. The strategies we spoke of are already making a difference and that was only 2 days ago! Wow Glyn thank you”. January 2018
I can’t wait to see a smile on your face and some ease and fun in your relationships
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