Being heard has a lot to do with how we start our conversations
Hi there and welcome,
I have two gorgeous daughters, one decides she will go work in Florida. Saying farewell to her last week was sad…..Devastating, is also a word that comes up. She is 26 and completely capable. Why the fuss?
The youngest child is somehow always the baby, I don’t know why that is, notice I said ALWAYS the baby? Like it was a fact. Like I knew when you read this you would be nodding…you would know exactly what I was talking about, right?
What if you didn’t know exactly what I was talking about or how it felt. We would have a misunderstanding. These happen ALL the time.
At the gym this morning the PT called the first instruction in the max hiit class and 3 people needed to ask for clarification. Interpretation is so individual.
Do you know that exercise is very important and releases endorphins so you feel good afterwards. Bummer if you feel so depressed or anxious you can’t get there though. Pushing yourself through those feelings might work sometimes but it doesn’t work all the time. Pushing yourself is like being your own bully. Most of us don’t respond well when bullied whether the bully is in our head or not.
In Compassionate Nonviolent Communication the way you start the conversation is critical to how it will be heard. There’s is no absolute guarantee, although, if you can start with a SHOT, you will be increase the likelihood of agreement.
How would you describe this shot?
Take a few seconds and then read below for a bit more explanation.
If you are your own bully or you are being bullied please get in touch. Sooner rather than later. You are important and what you want matters.
Why not pass this email on to a friend or colleague that might resonate with the material
I Want To Be Heard
I get told by many that they want to be heard. And they want to be understood and their intention seen. When I am heard, understood and seen for who I am, I am euphoric, it’s the best feeling ever!
Problem is, us humans think that we hear others well and we often say we know exactly what another’s intention is. But sadly not so.
If you start with an opener like an observation that is free of any evaluations you will increase the likelihood of starting the conversation and having the other person’s attention and willingness to continue without them being negative.
Take a look at the pic. If you said I am wearing a beret, a scarf and a leather jacket taking a photo. That would be a good way to kick us off in conversation over something more tricky.
If you said I looked warm we might see the shot differently and disagree and we haven’t even broached the tricky topic and we are disagreeing on the intro!
This, I would think would be a bad start.
The first step is to have a camera shot that everyone would agree with.
Try starting a conversation with this step next time and see what happens.
I would love to know how you go. You are welcome to shoot me a question via email. email@example.com. If you don’t get an answer in a day I may not have seen it, please feel free to call me on 0406 930 699.
A great journal and breathing technique to reduce stress and those pesky messages that roll through minute by minute is available with a coaching program – please call me and I will tailor a mini package for your special needs.
lots of love
How I can support you this coming month of June?
Oh Lordy almost half way through the year!
I am offering more laser coaching sessions @$49 for 30 minutes. We zero in on a topic/person/problem and work on a strategy that will shift the energy surrounding any awkward issue and move you forward. You can book or enquire here
or send me an email firstname.lastname@example.org
Mediation sessions @ half price. This means it’s only $125 per couple or group for an hour and a half.
Experience being heard at last whilst being in safe and caring hands where we will use the Compassionate NVC model of values to understand ourselves and hear others. People have told me it is sometimes the first time in years that they have been heard by a family member.
These mediation sessions are also helpful in business. It does not involve compromise, its all about the values and when they are gently uncovered the strategies surface naturally. Getting to what is important for each person first and then looking at some strategies that might make life more wonderful for all. You can book or enquire here or email here