How to Talk to Someone Who is Angry
How similar the business world is now to the relationship world.
This really hit me last week at a Mark Bouris seminar.
Just a few years ago we were keeping home and work problems completely separate by saying things like leave your problems at the door. Now we are benefiting from connection and listening is a vital component both at work and at home.
In the corporate world you may not really want to devote a full 10 minutes listening to someone’s emotional state whereas in the heart centred spaces; It’s welcomed.
How do you balance the “out in the wild” space with the safety and yummy feelies of the woo woo heart space?
There is a difference in the way connection is done though. Ultimately, it’s handy to know some workplace words to use and how long you should spend listening and giving eye contact, however there is one thing that transcends both worlds and that’s the ability to remain silent for a few moments after the speaker has finished. This honours the speaker’s words without the listener having to say or fix or continue the convo longer than they want to or have time for.
The way to Balance this out, is to journal for transformation. In other words, come to a convo clean
Not every style of journaling is for transformation it takes a special kind. Mark Bouris helped me see that the style of journaling I offer is one that includes a process for growth mindset and an outcome for progress. What a great business tool. Yeah! Got your attention now, right!
BTW the STOP being self-critical seminar two weeks ago was fabulous and I would like to run another. Anyone who has 5 or more people in a group or workplace who can easily get together – I’m there. Hit me up for some dates and book in a free chat here scroll to Discovery Call.
Certainly one to keep in your back pocket for times when you are overly self-critical.
The wonderful thing about journaling is that there are no rules or restrictions. To get your creative juices flowing, start a journal to record inspirational thoughts and ideas, or keep track of an artistic project. Choose a blank book, preferably without lines, that appeals to you in colour, size, and texture.
is the most important action. In the beginning, you might want to schedule
journal time into your day… but even if you don’t, you know it is there
waiting for you when inspiration strikes.
One of the best ways to encourage creativity is to try new things. Don’t let your preconceived notions of what a “journal” should be get in your way. Anything whether formal style or flamboyant is up for grabs when flying with your creativity; go for it with your non-dominant hand. Just start with a daisy. Nice and easy.
Draw the daisy first, then what provoked you, thoughts/judgements/shoulds, observation, feelings needs and request….remember to write your observation free of any evaluative words. You can always get colourful in the thoughts section.
BTW pick something you will write in. I’ve had the most magnificent journals and pens and kept them as table ornaments . lovely yes, useful and creating self-care, clarity and empowerment; definitely not!!
“You have two brains: a left and a right. Modern brain scientists now know that your left brain is your verbal and rational brain; it thinks serially and reduces its thoughts to numbers, letters and words… Your right brain is your nonverbal and intuitive brain; it thinks in patterns, or pictures, composed of ‘whole things,’ and does not comprehend reductions, either numbers, letters, or words.”
From The Fabric of Mind, by the eminent scientist and neurosurgeon, Richard Bergland. Viking Penguin, Inc., New York 1985.
How I can help this month
Mediation-an affordable solution for conflict resolution between two or more people who are stuck in conversation.
This testimonial may surprise you
Two people I supported last year said “We would never have made a decision on breaking up if we hadn’t had a couple of sessions of mediation with you Glyn. We had already broken up so many times and going back and forth was having a huge effect on the kids. Unfortunately we fought it out in front of the lawyers and it cost us a bomb in fees. I don’t want anyone to go through what we did. We thought we had to do it this way. I didn’t know mediation could be a solution. We both knew we needed to split only it was hard and we were arguing at the lawyers which took up time and didn’t help us be heard by each other. After two sessions with you, we were heard and understood and we could move forward with empowerment and take our agreement to the lawyers to be drafted.
In the end we didn’t need the formalisation of our agreement because we are back to being friends that trust each other and we cooperate so much more each kiddie swap over weekend. Thank you so much I can’t tell you what a difference this has made to our family.
To book a Mediation CLICK here
To ask me a question about a mediation or journaling CLICK here and scroll to Discovery Call
lots of love