Focus for clarity and lightness
- Focusing on the other persons needs takes the heat off our own emotional intensity in the moment. We can get curious and search for the need the other person may be trying to meet in what they said or did in that moment that was less appealing than you might have liked.
- Focus on your own feelings and needs and in doing so find a relief and release of pressure. Just saying the feeling to yourself has a soothing effect and combining it with a need has a self-connection and further soothing effect. A connection with the other person can be beneficial in times of conflict.
- Whilst you are thinking about Feelings and Needs you are not out of control. Quite the opposite, you are focussed and in control. Focus on this step by step process to keep your head and heart grounded in peace.
- Slowing down can be very beneficial. I often move quickly to the next sentence as I think of it, especially when in the company of other women. When I do this the full meaning of each part of what the speaker is saying is often lost. There is no pause. Listening as if you were listening to the most important thing your ears were ever going hear and honouring it with a moment’s silence, is such a gift to the speaker.
Thank you for spending your precious time listening and reading.
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